Absalom's Rescue

Unlocking the door with a combination-coded key, two silhouettes entered the house. Muffled mumbling fluctuated between the twin shadows. Footsteps and scuffling entombed the hallway. Whispers jabbed back and forth and a beam of light flashed diagonally from floor to ceiling countless times. Slowly turning the small corridor into the bedroom, an impenetrable barrier of resonant brightness engulfed the whole entire sleeping quarters. Deep inside the blinding lights a ghostly image sat upon a sofa with four other phantom shapes bouncing up and down on the first image. Switching on the lamp, only tiny traces of the bedroom could be made out. Over to the far right side corner of the room stood a TeleFive, which was the culprit emitting the incredibly strong projection that ensnared the five inhabitants inside its radiant-generated lascivious-cobweb. Clearing her throat, she said to her partner, "Hey, Adonis, pass me the penescope. It looks like we have some work to do." Searching his pockets for the minuscule object: "Ahhh.... I've found it honey. Let's just hope it works. It might have overheated from being in there too long." Placing the contraption inside her hand, she pressed the on lever and cranked up the penetration power to the highest level. "Let's hope that it does," she snapped. Looking directly through the eyepiece, she said, "Yes, it's working! I see four Asian women. They're pounding the hell out of you know who?" Adonis gulped at her smart remark. "He seems to be crying to God for help and he's tied to the furniture by his two wrists and two ankles. WOW.... Boy are those four women agile on his crutch. I've never seen such tenacity in the whole entire span of my life. It's as though the star Betelgeuse was magnified by twenty million times its current size! We got to get that numbskull out of there before his brain hypernovas from all that mindboggling pleasure." Pushing Adonis out of harms way, she picked up the grand piano stool and hurled it right at the TeleFive screen. Particles exploded everywhere and sparks twirled and twizzled out of control. Then, she ran down the corridor to snatch the fire extinguisher and sprinted back to the bedroom. Releasing the safety switch, she hosed down the destroyed insane-driven device until the last sign of smoke died out.